I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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