Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize