It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize