sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Found the puke drawer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
