she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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