M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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