She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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