were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
