READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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