??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize