So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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