Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
