And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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