I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
