he thought i was a dude.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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