also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
