why didn't you poke me back
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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