I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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