Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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