And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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