I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
