like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
