So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
