Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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