is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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