I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
