Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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