my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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