Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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