can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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