told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she smelled like a LAN party
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
