I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
