he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
