i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
