My room smells like vodka and shame
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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