I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
