we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
