I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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