Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
