Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
