So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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