Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
