help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
People in love make me want to vomit
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
