My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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