I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
