Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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(248): just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy http://tfl.nu/dtdn

Replies (17) Good night (5094) Bad night (601)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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(416): I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed... http://tfl.nu/ew3h

Replies (18) Good night (1729) Bad night (4629)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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(778): some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood" http://tfl.nu/duu9

Replies (47) Good night (1195) Bad night (7175)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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(414): My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday. http://tfl.nu/h79n

Replies (10) Good night (4335) Bad night (1135)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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(+66): A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure http://tfl.nu/u013

Replies (24) Good night (6942) Bad night (1876)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.

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(757): Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful. http://tfl.nu/da1d

Replies (5) Good night (1986) Bad night (1751)
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(516): View more from New York

You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.

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(516): You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween. http://tfl.nu/nl92

Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (1282)
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(714): View more from California

And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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(714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5

Replies (4) Good night (1973) Bad night (653)
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(785): View more from Kansas

And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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(785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh

Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (2036)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule

Replies (5) Good night (607) Bad night (1347)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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(+44): We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands. http://tfl.nu/fk2d

Replies (3) Good night (1942) Bad night (554)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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(405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk

Replies (9) Good night (1842) Bad night (516)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.

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(248): I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex. http://tfl.nu/x4c4

Replies (8) Good night (362) Bad night (797)
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(716): View more from New York

I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.

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(716): I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. http://tfl.nu/ab56

Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (334)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.

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(403): Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places. http://tfl.nu/bd5r

Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (120)

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