Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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(301): I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged. http://tfl.nu/aoku

Replies (14) Good night (770) Bad night (3717)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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(508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz

Replies (24) Good night (1502) Bad night (3969)
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(253): View more from Washington

When are you comin back?

(1-253): View more from Washington

probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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(253): When are you comin back? (1-253): probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons http://tfl.nu/lgag

Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (765)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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(724): Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am. http://tfl.nu/emfv

Replies (8) Good night (2508) Bad night (905)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

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(780): Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high? http://tfl.nu/wnjj

Replies (4) Good night (2621) Bad night (902)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.

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(773): I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her. http://tfl.nu/gidh

Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (1861)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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(814): I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/0v9r

Replies (7) Good night (1600) Bad night (757)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5

Replies (7) Good night (2406) Bad night (746)
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(636): View more from Missouri

It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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(636): It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked. http://tfl.nu/8md6

Replies (15) Good night (1348) Bad night (655)
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(813): View more from Florida

I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

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(813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5

Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (1195)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

(212): View more from New York

Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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(908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji

Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (549)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck

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(306): woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck http://tfl.nu/v8nv

Replies (3) Good night (498) Bad night (374)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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(402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91

Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (739)
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(616): View more from Michigan

She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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(616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5

Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (676)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.

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(304): You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/0po8

Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (658)

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