Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time. (970): I'm that good. http://tfl.nu/qp5j
  Replies (5) Good night (4157) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall. http://tfl.nu/wfv4
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (2950)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  no really all good couples have similar hair colors!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): no really all good couples have similar hair colors! http://tfl.nu/r50f
  Replies (42) Good night (1243) Bad night (3526)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m
  Replies (13) Good night (4856) Bad night (1610)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home! http://tfl.nu/koxv
  Replies (12) Good night (3605) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
  Replies (22) Good night (4521) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning. http://tfl.nu/28fz
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (2389)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dkbw
  Replies (24) Good night (1531) Bad night (3003)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1794) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Like handprints on my lower back...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines. (615): Like handprints on my lower back... http://tfl.nu/9y3r
  Replies (3) Good night (1941) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich. http://tfl.nu/j6pr
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick http://tfl.nu/tc3y
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC. http://tfl.nu/n5ed
  Replies (13) Good night (421) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/wqik
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (178)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart. http://tfl.nu/eru1
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (196)

Randomize