You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?