Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
