mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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