I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
