I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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