Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
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