Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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