omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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