We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
