I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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