do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize