New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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