I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
