are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize