And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have post one night stand depression
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