What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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